I am soooooo. miserable. Really, really. miserable. School started a 2 days ago. I'm glad I'm finally catching up with homework. But, I'm just not happy. Today, I received my ballot number for the competition. 3 for piano, 1 for violin. Being the first competitor for violin isn't cool at all. For that, I'll have to practise even more. Because if I happen to play badly, it'll be more embarrassing.
Before this, I was practising.. and sigh. Don't feel myself improving!! I'm just sososo worried! I'm trying, really trying! Even in school everyone's saying that we have to put in more effort. But.. don't the teachers know that not all of us are concentrating on studies alone?
I'm really confused. If I've made up my mind that I want to do music, I'll be overseas now. But my music life is ending really soon! I'm not sure what I can do. Just a few more concerts and a few more competitions and.. byebye! I'm off to study something else! Just what's the point of working so hard in something I won't do in future? I know I'm not suppose to question myself about these but everytime I practise, I just start doubting again. Should I study, or do music? I really have to decide now. Or I'll have to do really well in this competition. Which is quite.. impossible? I need someone to push me, someone to torture me.
1 week later, I'll see what improvements I've made. Hopefully, my violin lessons will have better comments. And less insults. And for piano, hopefully I get to learn something every lesson.
jumped at : 10:18 PM
hey diddle diddle
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.